Ok so. I know I've been MIA for quite a while and as much as I'd love to say it's because I've been oh-so-very busy, I can't. In fact ever since I got done with my mini-mester at the end of June I have literally done nothing but sit on my ass. Well I have been looking for a job, but given that that is proving damn near impossible....
I do plan on catching you all up on my super interesting life (note the sarcasm), but first I'd like to rant on just how much I hate people sometimes. Specifically, boys. Really just boys. I hate them. Mainly the ones I try to become romantically involved with.
It's really quite pointless. I just need to face the facts, I'm going to be a cat lady. Or a bag lady. Or maybe I'll just become the crazy aunt that smokes too much, has really long fake nails, always wears fake eyelashes and may or may not be perpetually intoxicated. Yea that definitely sounds more my style.
But this isn't a pity party. Oh no. It's a rant to all the stupid boys, all my "Peter in the Parks" if you will, that suck. Why pretend to be nice? Or feign interest and then act completely shocked when someone wants commitment? hm? Now I know as the superior sex it's up to us females to spell things out to you poor lowly dullards out there, but this is ridiculous. If you treat me like a girlfriend, talk to me like a girlfriend I'm probably going to assume I'm your girlfriend. So if this is not your intention then please god, just stop sending out signals. Don't be such a dick. You cant have the best of both worlds. You can't have me as this way awesome friend that never asks anything of you and never starts drama AND you don't have any serious ties to. Fuck that shit. Buck up men of the world. State your intentions and mean them. I do.
See I've dated this guy, let's call him "Peter." His way of breaking things off with me was via a text the day before an 8 a.m. class to tell me that he just "can't give me what I want." Which at that point was peaceful sleep. Thanks so much for the consideration asshole. So clearly I'm bewildered and distraught. But after some heavy justification/rationalization, it made sense...kind of. I'm in no place to date someone seriously. I'm totally fine by myself. So self-sufficient (right?).
So the so-called relationship ended with his need for freedom. He still wanted his time to roam around - the lone wolf. Well cool. You go roam around mister. More power to ya'. Oh and of course there was the age old favorite "it's not you it's me" line and in like "10 years we can come back to each other and be what each other needs...." *barf* But ok. I'm cool with that too. Thanks for the honesty....
But alas, in only one short month guess who's in a steady relationship? Better yet in a relationship with someone who I thought of as an ally, or at the very least a comrade in arms in the crusade against assholes. Yep. The Asshole. This really is doing wonders for my self-esteem. What happened to the lone wolf? Does this still mean you're coming back in 10 years? Am I supposed to like wait around....? Is there a pamphlet or a cypher I can use to decode all the mixed messages anywhere? No? Awesome.
I can deal with all of that bullshit. I really can. Assholes are dime-a-dozen. What I can't handle is the same thing happening to me over and over again.
See the thing is, I'm kind of awesome. No really. I am. I have one year left in college. After I graduate I'm going to go and do stuff with my life...not really sure what yet, but I'm definitely going to do something. I like being productive. I also like facilitating productivity in others. Well this kumkwat like so many others have done, literally decided to trade me in for a newer less efficient model. I'm going to say it's because my success scares him. He's always been insecure.
Which baffles me. Why on earth is it that so many guys I come across are so intimidated by my success and drive that they all but run away? It's like I can be good for anybody, but finding someone good for me isn't allowed. All preparation, no H. Damn. The obvious solution to my predicament would be to find someone just as motivated and date that one. Here in lies a problem.... they're gay, taken or totally uninterested in me. Usually just totally uninterested in me. Probably because all of my "awesome" often comes across as "bitch." I don't see why though. It's not like I'm the one ranting on my blog about how men suck while all of my wrongdoers are out galavanting around getting into all these new relationships or anything.
So I guess I should have clarified that not all guys are lowlife manipulative assholes that do anything they can to make you feel bad about yourself when in reality they are the fucked up ones that lack the ability to show loyalty, much less monogamy......not all of them just most of the ones I've encountered.
Sorry there weren't any pretty pictues I could post to keep you entertained. It's just the ravings of a pissed off bitter lady. I'll try and give you a proper update tomorrow complete with pretty pictures and funny anecdotes. Until then....