Sex on the Beaches-

Provocative title, right?

Me and the lovely Suzanna went to Gulf shores with my family last weekend. It was Emma's first beach trip. She'd been once as a baby, but this was her first time playing in the sand. She LOVED it. I've got to get the pictures from mother, because the ones of her are hilarious. 

Those of you who have met my sweet sister understand what a diva she is. At the beach she turned it on full blast. Anytime Suzy and I got ready to go out or do anything that remotely involved make up, Emma had to be in on it. She has a new found friend in Suzanna. "heeey, Suzy...can I have some make up?" You can't deny this child so naturally Suzanna let her play with her make up brushes. She ran around the condo making everyone look at her.... "LOOK AT ME!!!! I look so ber-ti-fuuuur!" Oh yea. Bertifur. (black at heart)

The best was when we were on the beach and Emma was sitting on the sand at the water's edge. Anyone who has ever been to the beach knows that when you sit there, sand gets all kinds of stuck up in your nooks n' crannies in your bathing suit. Well Emma had had enough of it. She stood up, pulled of her bathing suit bottoms and said "ugh, there's sand in my hiney, I just can't dooo it!" If I could have gotten away with doing it I'd have done the same. When a 4-year-old does it, it's cute. If I did it it's public indecency. Sad day.

In between our Emma adventures Suzanna and I went out on the town in Gulf Shores. 

Since it was my inaugural 21st Birthday Weekend, we hit the bars. The Pink Pony Pub was by far our favorite, despite a few old creepy guys (one of which, I'm almost positive, had plans to lure us into his creeper web of rape/abduction/potential indcution into sex slavery with promises of free alcohol *gag*). One creeper was pretty nice though. I even overlooked him being an LSU fan. After dancing to 80s music we decided to call it a night due to some seriously embarrassing issues I was having.

I'm going to divulge a little secret. I can't poop when I'm away from home. Can't do it. It's like my body just knows it's sitting on a foreign toilet. I've dealt with this unfortunate issue with my intestines for as long as I can remember. I've done everything. Activia. Fiber. All that stuff. Nothing works for any extended period of time. So when I go away I have to ready myself to be uncomfortable most of the trip... Ugh, going to Jamaica for two weeks was very close to torture. 

That being said I was prepared for this weekend. I was determined to poop. I refused to look all bloated with a food baby on the beach. So my bright idea was to take a laxative (or 4) before going to the bar. I figured if that in conjunction with alcohol didn't do it, nothing would. Well.... let's just say it kicked in. I sent my mother a text (she was so sweet and acted as our DD that night) that she needed to get there ASAP! We all but ran away from creeper #2 and hopped in the car. Aside from being a little let down by having to leave the bar early, I was pretty excited about going to the bathroom. I'll end my story here because the rest of that night was the most horrible night of my life. 

Never. Again.

Anypoo. Sorry.... Anywho, we also went to the Hangout and heard this really good cover band. The actual place itself was just ok. It would have been more fun with a group of people to go with.

We also went to Flora-Bama. It was yet another place that was fun, but would have been better with a group of people. We were always on Creeper Alert. Sometimes being a girl sucks. You can't just have that wreckless abandon kind of fun unless you have a body guard or look like a body guard. 

Our last day there Suzanna really really wanted snow crab legs. So we rode all the way out to east freaking buddah to go to this restaurant. I was ready to be home, but I was game. Besides I hadn't really had any seafood yet either. Our dining experience was a bit shocking to say the least. I ordered shrimp. I expected to have to peel it. However I didn't expect it to be staring at me.

Once I got over PePe the Shrimp and his family staring at me, my lunch was actually pretty yummy. Now. The highlight of my Gulf Shores Trip......

My B.E.A.U-tiful new Coach purse. Let's just say, I'm in love. ahhh. I'm a very happy camper. Thank you madre for being way awesome. She got a purse too, but *shhhh* mines prettier :) 

Well that's our trip pretty much. I'll leave y'all with a few more pictures and the Teaches of Peaches song that was the inspiration to my post's title.

Suzanna had some Photo Booth fun.

Whew, well I feel better -

So yea, I'm well aware my last post was a bit angry. Ok it was the ravings of a bitter/jealous lady. But not jealous for the reasons most people think. I'll not go into it, but just be assured that I don't reek of desperation quite as much as it may seem.

Well, moving on....

Let me update you on my life, or at least a bit of it because a lot has happened actually. After I got out of school for the summer Ive spent a quality amount of time searching for a job. The hunt continues. I'll not post about my job hunt today. It'll just put me in a bad mood. blech. I'll start with my favorite subject.

Me and Emma have had some serious bonding time over the summer. Here's a little bit of Emma & Sister fun.

Those last few were from my birthday dinner with dad. For those of you who didn't know, I turned 21 on Monday! Woop woop! I had a blast, well from what I can remember I had a blast and everyone else told me I had a lot of fun/ was a lot of fun. haha....yea.

I started of my Birthday Bonnanza with a pedicure courtesy of my lovely father, thanks James!

Birthday Toes @ Pretty Please Nail Salon

I then went shopping and got this awesome dress. I forgot to take a picture of it before I put it in the wash today. My bad. But I also don't have all my pictures from that night so you only get a super small preview. That night me, my lovely Singer friends, the roomies, my oldest friend suzanna, and my friend Nick all met at my house for a small pre-game. Let's just say my friends are either really horrible or really great influences. I'm not sure which. We then went to Skybar for some good karaeoke fun! Man was it ever!

There are a few more picutres of me and suzy, but I look crazy as hell and refuse to let everyone see them. I wish I'd gotten a picture of me and the girl from Fly By Radio. I totally recognized her through my haze of inebriation. In my mind I was being friendly, in reality I was just that drunk girl. But she was so so nice and when I told her she'd given me tequila one time at her show when I snuck in with a fake id she thought that was hilarious. She then proceeded to buy me tequila shots. That's around the point where I don't remember things.

Luckily Nick is a saint. Seriously. He brought me home, dealt with my drunkeness and made sure I didn't die. Although for some reason I ended up in my roommate Alana's bed with the cat curled up behind my knees. Talk about a shock when I woke up. Literally didn't know where I was for a minute. But I suppose that's what 21st birthdays are all about. However, Tuesday was one of the most miserable days of my life. I still can't think of *cringe* tequila with out wanting to throw up. (Let the record show I did NOT get sick Monday night though, thank you very much)

Well I suppose that's enough for today. I'll continue playing catch-up this week with this blog....sorry I forgot about it. But I did give fair warning that I would. But before I leave, I'll leave you with a song. I heard it on the radio the other day and it's been stuck in my head every since. It's catchy, watch out. :)

It's been a while, sorry -

Ok so. I know I've been MIA for quite a while and as much as I'd love to say it's because I've been oh-so-very busy, I can't. In fact ever since I got done with my mini-mester at the end of June I have literally done nothing but sit on my ass. Well I have been looking for a job, but given that that is proving damn near impossible....

I do plan on catching you all up on my super interesting life (note the sarcasm), but first I'd like to rant on just how much I hate people sometimes. Specifically, boys. Really just boys. I hate them. Mainly the ones I try to become romantically involved with.

It's really quite pointless. I just need to face the facts, I'm going to be a cat lady. Or a bag lady. Or maybe I'll just become the crazy aunt that smokes too much, has really long fake nails, always wears fake eyelashes and may or may not be perpetually intoxicated. Yea that definitely sounds more my style.

But this isn't a pity party. Oh no. It's a rant to all the stupid boys, all my "Peter in the Parks" if you will, that suck. Why pretend to be nice? Or feign interest and then act completely shocked when someone wants commitment? hm? Now I know as the superior sex it's up to us females to spell things out to you poor lowly dullards out there, but this is ridiculous. If you treat me like a girlfriend, talk to me like a girlfriend I'm probably going to assume I'm your girlfriend. So if this is not your intention then please god, just stop sending out signals. Don't be such a dick. You cant have the best of both worlds. You can't have me as this way awesome friend that never asks anything of you and never starts drama AND you don't have any serious ties to. Fuck that shit. Buck up men of the world. State your intentions and mean them. I do.

See I've dated this guy, let's call him "Peter." His way of breaking things off with me was via a text the day before an 8 a.m. class to tell me that he just "can't give me what I want." Which at that point was peaceful sleep. Thanks so much for the consideration asshole. So clearly I'm bewildered and distraught. But after some heavy justification/rationalization, it made sense...kind of. I'm in no place to date someone seriously. I'm totally fine by myself. So self-sufficient (right?).


So the so-called relationship ended with his need for freedom. He still wanted his time to roam around - the lone wolf. Well cool. You go roam around mister. More power to ya'. Oh and of course there was the age old favorite "it's not you it's me" line and in like "10 years we can come back to each other and be what each other needs...." *barf* But ok. I'm cool with that too. Thanks for the honesty....

But alas, in only one short month guess who's in a steady relationship? Better yet in a relationship with someone who I thought of as an ally, or at the very least a comrade in arms in the crusade against assholes. Yep. The Asshole. This really is doing wonders for my self-esteem. What happened to the lone wolf? Does this still mean you're coming back in 10 years? Am I supposed to like wait around....? Is there a pamphlet or a cypher I can use to decode all the mixed messages anywhere? No? Awesome.

I can deal with all of that bullshit. I really can. Assholes are dime-a-dozen. What I can't handle is the same thing happening to me over and over again.

See the thing is, I'm kind of awesome. No really. I am. I have one year left in college. After I graduate I'm going to go and do stuff with my life...not really sure what yet, but I'm definitely going to do something. I like being productive. I also like facilitating productivity in others. Well this kumkwat like so many others have done, literally decided to trade me in for a newer less efficient model. I'm going to say it's because my success scares him. He's always been insecure.

Which baffles me. Why on earth is it that so many guys I come across are so intimidated by my success and drive that they all but run away? It's like I can be good for anybody, but finding someone good for me isn't allowed. All preparation, no H. Damn. The obvious solution to my predicament would be to find someone just as motivated and date that one. Here in lies a problem.... they're gay, taken or totally uninterested in me. Usually just totally uninterested in me. Probably because all of my "awesome" often comes across as "bitch." I don't see why though. It's not like I'm the one ranting on my blog about how men suck while all of my wrongdoers are out galavanting around getting into all these new relationships or anything.

So I guess I should have clarified that not all guys are lowlife manipulative assholes that do anything they can to make you feel bad about yourself when in reality they are the fucked up ones that lack the ability to show loyalty, much less monogamy......not all of them just most of the ones I've encountered.

Sorry there weren't any pretty pictues I could post to keep you entertained. It's just the ravings of a pissed off bitter lady. I'll try and give you a proper update tomorrow complete with pretty pictures and funny anecdotes.  Until then....

Real Quick-

I'm going home today and I need to be in Montgomery in an hour. But I really wanted to get Tawanda's Tuesday Tunes and Tirades done first. So today's tirade....

Nancy Grace. Need I say more? Yea didn't think so. Just look at her.

I've been obsessed with the whole Casey Anthony trial, and of course so is Nancy. Last night in particular she went on a rampage bc the defense tried to claim insanity. Well this just happened to be one of the few times I agreed with Ms. Grace. What bothers me to no end is the helmet hair and that ever present look on her face that she's just a step away from nailing the "bad guys" herself.  She also seems like a gossip monger, like she just can't help herself. She's torn Lindsey Lohan to pieces before. Anyway, I've decided I need to take over her job. HLN really needs me to whether they know it or not. I swear if I see her do a fake cry at the end of her show one more time....

It's sad that I know all this. It means I watch her show. Not because I like it, but  purely because I get sucked into her vortex of bad hair and interrupting her guests and I just can't stop watching.

Tawanda's Tusday Tunes

1. "Santeria" Sublime

Sublime is such good summertime music. In fact I shall be listening to them on my drive to Montgomery. And fyi they're doing a comeback with Rome. I think the new song is called "Panic," if anyone is interested. 

2. "Pursuit of Happiness" Kid Cudi, ft. MGMT

I don't know if I like the video or the song more. It's a good getting ready song or if you're feeling particularly angsty towards other people. 

3. "Daydreamer" Adele

I'm shocked I haven't put Adele on here sooner. I'm obsessed with everything about her. She's completely gorgeous and her voice is AMAZING. This isn't even her best song, I just was in the mood for it this morning. 

Anywho, hope y'all enjoy... sorry today's was so short, but I'm running on a tight schedule this morning. And btw, anybody have any ideas for songs on Tuesday's tunes? Or rants for my tirades? I'd love to hear them!

Have a great day!

Freaking Out

I resisted from Friday alliteration...it was  tempting though.

I'm preparing for my last final which will occur tomorrow at 4pm. Yes, you read that correctly, a final on Saturday. If that's not considered cruel and unusual I don't know what is. Although most of my day was dedicated to studying and stressing out about studying I did manage to do some quality procrastinating.

I took extra time this morning to get ready. I had nothing to do I just wanted to look pretty. Besides getting ready came with the added bonus of not studying. After getting dressed and accessorized I thought you lovely readers would like to see the product of all my grooming. Especially since the only people who did see it today were the McDonald's cashiers.

Dress- Old Navy (borrowed from roommate)

Bracelet- found at an estate sale;
Neclace- Target

Rings- gifts from Moms

All my picture taking made me realize just how hard it is to take a picture when you're alone. I'm going to invest in a camera with a self timer...

Speaking of McDonald's did y'all know they just came out with a Rolo McFlurry? I know, I'm excited about it too. I didn't get one though. Mostly because I'm broke and the dollar menu is more my budget right now.  Also, when did McDonald's get so fancy? I went inside today because the drive thru was ridiculous and the whole place has this minimalist vibe to it. I tried to get a picture, but mine kind of sucks. I felt weird taking a picture of the inside of Mickey D's with all the gangsters, grandmas, and screaming kids watching me. 

This is so NOT the McDonald's of my childhood.

Since we're on the topic of foods....

GIANT strawberry!

My wonderful roommate, Danielle, made chocolate covered strawberries tonight. They were the juciest most giant strawberries I've ever had. mmmmm....I hope there's some left in the kitchen. 

Anywho, some of you who've visited my blog before may have noticed some new stuff I added today. I now have The Page Turner up and running (even though it is a little rough). 

I've begun my summer reading list and decided that I would share what literature I will be reading in the next few months. If anyone wants to read along with me that could be fun, so just let me know! I'll also be doing a little review of each book. I'll link each review to the title if anyone cares to read them. I hope to finish the entire list by the time school starts in the fall (Aug. 17th). Needless to say, I have a considerable amount to get through. I've already finished the first book (The Gunslinger, The Dark Tower series book I; Stephen King) I will be updating the "Current Reads" icon (in the top left corner, just in case you're blind) as I begin new books. Up next:

The Dark Tower series - Book 2

Anyone have any suggestions for books to add? Delete? Is anyone reading this?

Well if someone is reading this, thanks. You should definitely follow me too. (Just start clicking around the right side of the page and you can like me in all kinds of ways...)

(that wasn't an innuendo)

Well I think that about does it for today you guys. However, I can't resist. My alliteration has just GOT to come out....

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Emma & Sister photobooth session- Summer 2009

sigh...she has grown so much :(

My "Peter Pan" look

Me and Danielle (my roomie) - and yes, I know my roots were bad, it was a phase...

Well that was fun. That's definitely happening every Friday. I had way too much fun digging through old pictures. 

Crap, look at the time. See? I keep finding ways to not study. Ok people I'd love to hear from y'all. Leave me some comments ( the "people got stuff to say" section in between posts) and follow me via bloglovin/google (look up at the right). Thanks so much!

Goodnight all.

Tawanda's Tuesday Tunes and Tirades-

Like my alliteration? I do.

Tuesdays are my designated day for bitching. So here goes...

The Tiger Transit here at Auburn University is probably my # 1 complaint when it comes to school. There are various and sundry reasons as to why this service has become the bane of my college existence, but I'd like to rant about today's kerfuffle. Let me set up the scenario for you.

I awake at 6:40am. Today I am determined to go to class in more than cut-off shorts and a tank top with no make up and ugly hair. I eat a nutri-grain bar for breakfast, curled my hair, got ready and watched the news. I'm feeling very put together this morning. Ready to face a day filled with studying and errand running. It's 7:30. I walk out my door and arrive at the transit stop at 7:35. I wait...

and wait...

and wait...

smoke a cigarette....

and wait....

At 7:48 I begin to panic. Class starts in exactly 12 minutes. The ride alone takes any where from 8 -10 minutes depending on whose driving that day. At 7:55, after 20 minutes of waiting, the transit pulls slooooooowly into the Garden District, and of course, it's my least favorite driver, John Leavelle. (He's notoriously slow. If the speed limit is 35mph, he's going 20, maybe.)  We pull out of my complex at 7:59. Being on time isn't going to happen. But there's still hope that my professor will chat with the class for a few minutes and I won't miss anything. If this damn bus driver will just hurry UP! It's 8:02.

Shit.

Let's just say he went slightly slower than a glacial pace. Pangea could have reformed in the amount of time he took.  Ok that's a slight exaggeration. But I was still 7 minutes late, and had to battle a row of students to reach my assigned seat (which of course created a huge distraction). Awesome.

Whatever, my teacher was cool about it. But it's the fact of the matter. I understand it's summer and so there are fewer buses running. Conserve and all that jazz. I just don't feel that there is any reason for someone to have to wait 20 minutes just for the bus to arrive. Not to mention another 10-12 minutes riding. A drive that would take about 2.5 minutes takes a whopping 30+ minutes. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm aware I could drive, and then I could just depend on myself to get there and the bus drivers wouldn't have to deal with my huffing & puffing. I could do this, but why on earth should I? If Auburn is going to offer a service I think I'm well within my rights to demand promptness and dependability. It's not like I got to the stop 5 minutes before class and was pissed I was late. It was a 30 minute long adventure.

So I've started a subtle campaign against the transit service. I refuse to say thank you when I get off the bus. Even if they say have a good day ( Unless it's that Omar guy, bc he is genuinely nice and likes to drive fast).  This sounds really mean, but I don't care. My tuition is paying for the stupid transit, why should I say thank you to people who are getting paid to be slow and annoying?

I'm aware all of this sounds harsh. Im only being serious about 75% or so of what I just wrote.

Anyway, on to...

 Tawanda's Tuesday Tunes--

1. "When Doves Cry"- Quindon Tarver 

The song is from "Romeo & Juliet" and I absolutely love it. I'm not kidding I get ready to this and sing with the hairbrush as a microphone. I also pretend I'm black and can do this with my voice. 

2. "All I Can Do Is Write About It" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

I really don't know what it is about this song. I typically get vaguely nauseated at overtly southern things. But there's something about this song that makes me want to go for a ride with all the windows down and the volume cranked up.

3. "For Emma, Forever Ago" - Bon Iver

I put two versions up. The first is the studio version, the second is an a capella version. I originally listened to this song because of its name ( If you haven't made the connection "Emma" is my sister's name as well). I came across this video forever ago, and have been in love ever since. I personally like the a capella version best.

Anyway, happy listening! Hope I didn't bore you to tears. Now, I've done far too much procrastinating. Time to study study study!

My Bad-

Well I did exactly what I thought I would. I neglected the blog.  Well I'll attempt to do a quick overview of what I've been up to the past week or so.  Let's see....

Well I think I left off with the Jazz Fest. My friend Mallory and I went to my hometown to visit with my grandparents and then go see Mofro at the Lake Martin Amphitheater.  We were going to lay out but of course it started to pour down rain. So instead we picked oh so yummy blueberries!

We ate more than we picked...so yummy.

The bushes were LOADED with berries.

Mallory didn't want to take a picture...

I ate far too many blueberries. But after we picked we got ready and went to the concert with my Meme and Billy. Now it may seem odd to some of you that I party with my grandparents, but really they rock. We had a blast. Mofro was too awesome for words. Really. They played my favorite song by them "A Woman."

I had some better pictures, Mallory took some, but for some reason it's not letting me upload them... poop. There were some really great ones of Mofro.

Anywho, last week was a week for movies. I saw "Super 8" with my mom and then "Mr. Popper's Penguin's" with my friend Sam and his brother Will.  Super 8 was fantastic. Like this generations "Goonies" meets "The Lost Boys" meets something vaguely Steven King-ish. I liked it. The penguin movie was cute, but I really had expected it to be funnier. Definitely a wait to rent for those of you wondering. 

Moving right along....

Last Wednesday I started a little DIY project for my balcony. My balcony here in the Garden District has been in a state of disrepair since my roomies and I moved in. Well they finally came and fixed it. (Thank god, because we were close to falling in....and I really wanted to sue for a new spine....) My mother bought me a little bistro set for my birthday (it's still a month away but I got it early) and I went to the thrift store to find a chair. I meant to take a before and after picture but I forgot. So you get the after. 

I literally couldn't hold a pen the next day from all of the spray painting I did. But I'm in love with our balcony. We have christmas lights strung up around the railing and it's really nice out there at night. I felt like Martha Stewart :)

Last Friday after the penguin movie I got to see some of my extended family at Cock of the Walk. Some of my cousins were in town visiting from Texas so me and 13 other family members chowed down. I was so glad I went. I had a slight time constraint and almost didn't go. That night Rex played at the Oyster Bar again and we all went out to listen. As usual it was fun. I got all fancy, put on make up, did my hair....it was good. I needed to be glamorous for a second. ( I also got all vain for a second....)

I told you I got all vain....

Saturday I went home to visit with my mom and be in town for Father's Day. I was (as usual) guilted into going to church with my dad. It's not that I object to church per se... it's more I object to going to the hellfire and brimestone hillbilly church that has this horrible choir. 

I'm being serious. This choir doesn't come anywhere close to a joyful noise. I'm pretty sure Jesus cries. Not only that, but there are these three women who are clearly known as the "singers" of the church. You know they type. They have a solo every Sunday. Even when singing with the choir, they have a solo. Granted they are the best ones in the choir, but that's also like saying they are best dancers in a group of paraplegics. So I endured an hour of underpitch songs, including every single verse of "Just As I Am." You southern Baptists out there know what I'm talking about. If someone doesn't go down to the front to kneel at the pulpit you best believe the preacher is going to do every verse of a song, if not repeat the song, until somebody "comes on down." 

The highlight of Sunday's service was the gift bags they gave the fathers that came with mini snickers and mints. And since my lovely sister Emma is the cutest kid ever they gave her an extra one...that I stole under the pretext that it was getting close to nap time. tee hee. ( What? I'm her sister. Being mean is part of my job description)

Well it was not her naptime, so we played with chalk and she showed me how awesome she is getting at bike riding.....

Ok, I think I'm all caught up. It's finals week for the first mini-mester so if I disappear again for the week don't hold it against me. I'll leave y'all with my all time favorite song by Mofro. It's sex. No really though. It's the sexiest song I've ever heard. siighhhhh........